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Showing posts from January, 2012

Christmas Cracker Humour

This year Yahoo published its list of the ten best Christmas cracker jokes ever. Not that there’s much competition! See what you think?
What’s round and bad tempered? A vicious circle.Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.What does the word ‘minimum’ mean? A very small mother.Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed? He had low elf-esteem.What do you call a penguin in the Sarah Desert? Lost.What do you call a dinosaur coming out of an optician’s? Do-you-think-he-saurus?How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle.What is an ig? An igloo without a loo.What is Santa’s favourite pizza? Deep pan, crisp and even.Of course, the Christmas story in the Bible has its own share of jokes and riddles.

What do you call the person who adopts you into his family, brings you up like his own son and lets you inherit his carpenter’s business? You might think the answer would be ‘Dad’, but not if you were Jesus! Luke tells us that Jesus was very clear from his e…

How to stay happy all the time, and not just at Christmas

With a genuflection to some recent articles in The Financial Times and The Guardian, which gave me some of my inspiration, here's my take on how to stay happy all the time, and not just at Christmas.

Remember that God is with us.Don't read or watch too much news - it exaggerates what's bad. Remember there is always good news - like the angels promised!Try to mix with young people and children - young people are optimists and children have a sense of wonder, like Mary and the shepherds in the story.We can imagine the worst because it's the best way to avoid being eaten by lions, but we shouldn't let fear get the better of us because the worst rarely happens and even if it does the story of Easter shows us that God is still with us. Work alongside God to bring peace and goodwill and focus on getting there one step at a time.

A Christmas Lexicon

Isaiah 9.2-7, Titus 2.11-14, Luke 2.1-20

The other day I heard a columnist from the Financial Times talking on the radio about a lexicon he had written to explain how different people understand economic jargon. I was intrigued, so I looked it up, and here’s a flavour of what it contains.

For each entry the columnist, Luke Johnson, has given his own definition of what the word means and then the sort of definition which he thinks Guardian readers, trade unionists or charity workers might prefer. Actually, he’s behind the curve on that one. Charity workers have had to change their tune and get with the market if they want their charities to survive, but that’s another story.

Anyway, let’s look at a few examples from the lexicon. In Luke Johnson’s definition, an ‘opportunist’ is someone who shows initiative by seizing the chance to make a commercial or financial gain, whereas he thinks Guardian readers would see an opportunist as a selfish person who exploits other people’s misfo…